So the inter-hall game season is gradually coming to a close. It's been one hell of a ride, and I'm still reeling from the December days, where there was not much more to life than 打球吃饭冲凉睡觉，打球吃饭冲凉睡觉。Tiring as those days were with sun exposure of approximately 6 hours per day on average, it was pretty simple. There was little to worry about, and each exhausting day just ended with a cold shower and a good night's sleep.

It's always been one of my biggest regrets that I've never properly committed myself to a CCA that I actually cared about. I've never known what it was to work every sinew in your body toward a single, simple goal. Perhaps it was the team - we never even broke out of the zone, much less reach any sort of goal. Perhaps it was just me, that I didn't bother. But I'm always deeply envious when I watch movies like Facing the Giants, or A League of Their Own. It'll always hit a raw spot of mine, that I'll never have something from my younger days that I can look back on with so much pride and nostalgia. Even Jessica's stories about her softball team, much as I love hearing about them, make me a little bitter, because it's exactly what I hope I had. All the gruelling trainings, overseas training trips, and a whole whirlwind journey that leads right up to the championships, where everything seems to fade away in comparison.

I may be too much of an idealist, because I don't know if I would even have the discipline to push myself through the rigours should such an opportunity arise. But damn it would be nice if, say 50 years from now, from my attic, I pull out a faded picture of my team from decades ago, posing on the field after the championships, and the memories all come flooding back.

I wish I could go back in time.

scribbled
2:32 PM